The One Before Me


Everything that used to bring
Me a modicum of pleasure
Now just sends a blank stare
Of all that can be taken away
And with that gone
That one last tattered thread to
Being somewhat whole
For once
All that goes away
Gets obliterated
On that day
And all is emptiness
On both sides
And inside I feel hollow
As if everyone horrible
Was right
And all kindness has been
Stripped from the world
Yet I am the only one
Standing vulnerable
Bare
Laid waste
All of you have
To what probably was
A misplaced
Entity
To begin
With
But why must I be shattered so
Why must nothing
Good become a
Respite for me
In between the liars and the cheats
The one intent on tearing down
To the root
If
The cellular level
Could be erased,
I would
So
Easily
Disappear

My life ripped from the
Pages
No evidence here
I’m fine with the
Realization
Of nothingness

But if you die
As you seem to be
Doing
The emptiness
Will never be
Anything but a gaping
Hole in my heart

No matter what you say
My soldier
My fighter
My champion

I can’t seem to convince you
How much you have
Set up shop in
My soul

And the over-reaching
Grasp of sadness
Seems
To always
Find its way

You saved me from the abyss
Many times
Of which
My hyper-critic lecturing progenitor
Has no
Understanding

He places that little value
On the power of
Love

Because
Money is money
And my choices
Have all been
Wrong
You’ve made that
Clear for years and
Remind me
Of
It
Incessantly
Particularly
In the
Bleak times

All the positives
Erased
With a surge
Of self-hatred

To

The

Point

Where

She

Can’t

Be

Found

IMG_0011.JPG

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s