Quick Fixes, Hope in the Back of Your Mind and No Healthy Way to Shorten the Process


You may be very early in your tragedy, and be so devastated that you find it hard to believe you could ever recover. The truth is, it will take a long time, there’s no way around that. Your grief may be so unbearable that you started searching the internet for a “quick fix” to end the pain. I am sorry to tell you, there is no quick fix to bereavement. But I do want you to know what lies ahead, so you can survive for now, with hope in the back of your mind.

The grieving process is a very personal and individual thing. The relationship you had with your loved one and how he died will dictate the length and depth of your own bereavement. There is no healthy way to shorten the process; there are no short cuts to the resolution of grief. You must let it run it’s course.

There is also no “normal” amount of time for mourning. Some people adjust to a new life in a matter of months. Others take a year or more, or up to 2 years or longer to complete their grieving. Most take a year or two. The best length of time for you? Whatever you need.

This was emailed to me. I am glad I signed up for the grief ‘coursework.’ I used to work in Hospice. Before I started a “career” (or whatever they would call a similar professional track in the path of prostitution, because, come to find out, the entertainment industry is run by bad pimps) in film, I was immersed in the work of terminal illness, dying, bereavement care and grief.

This by no means prepared me for the incontrollable waves that come and go because I miss my father more than I could possibly describe. Yet, I know, it will pass, and that alone is enough to make me cry.

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